Stages of Life for the Gringo on the US Border

Having lived on the border now for close to 30 years and being a transplant to this special place, I have a unique perspective on the stages a new transplant goes through as they become acclimated to the area. Being on any border is always unique. It provides many benefits in that you can experience two countries at the same time or you can very easily visit another culture or country in the blink of an eye and feel like you really got away but only traveled 5 or 10 miles. With Mexico, this is a very unique opportunity to learn a new language, meet new people, and experience a culture that in many ways is very enriching. However, living on a border can also be a frustrating experience as well. What most new people I see coming to this area and who are completely new to the SouthWestern United States is that they have what I call the "HoneyMoon Phase". They find everything so enchanting and novel. They feel like they have really discovered a hidden gem...and guess what...they have. However, after a few months to a year or two the novelty wears off and stage 2 kicks in. Denial Phase, or Phase 2. At this stage they begin to realize that yes it is unique here but there are many things that are just like from where they came from. They find everyone very friendly but you also begin to realize that even though you have moved thousands of miles away from home most everyone still has exactly the same problems and behavior that you experienced from where you came from. In the Denial Phase people begin to not want to see that they are on an international border and if they aren't familiar with borders in other countries they don't realize that most borders share two or sometimes three languages, very different world viewpoints, and a different culture. At this denial phases you don't want to see some of the things that you don't always appreciate but that are not really the fault of the new people you are living with. It is actually your fault for not realizing that you are in a totally different geographical location and with that comes some things you are not accustomed to and you sometimes don't want to see that. The Denial Phase can last another year or two. Now we are at a crossroads as the Denial Phase progresses to the next phase.... Anger vs. Acceptance "A or A" phase. At the "A or A" you must decide to stay or go. Can you live with this place or are the small annoyances you are not use to going to consume you and drive you away? Usually, this happens at year 3 to year 5 depending on an individuals ability to come to terms with things. "A and A" phase can continue for a few years and is usually pretty ugly. This is where people either become very negative or accommodating towards their new location. For many, they can't adjust and leave with a very negative impression of the border...and this is too bad. Not to say there aren't a lot of problems here....but the person never really learned to adjust to their new environment. They want the environment to change to their liking and not the other way around...and this is not possible. So at this point one either becomes angry or accepts that yes...I live on the border...People speak a different language in addition to English, and yes, the culture is different. If you can not prorgress past the "A or A" phase you will either leave or simply live in misery. I have seen both. Those that leave move on and those that stay stuck in the anger of the "A and A" phase complain and drag everyone down. I guess some people like to live in misery but it really doesn't work for long. If you are able to achieve the acceptance phase of the "A or A" phase then you can truly experience the benefits of living on the border and limit the downsides of living on the border. After "A and A" comes stability and/or maintainance phase where one is able to become part of the community and still retain their roots back home. You become a world citizen and grow. You become more opened and accepting of others and you become more understanding and patient. It isn't easy and many who come here will leave but those that stay don't regret coming.